One of the most common challenges couples face in their intimate lives is figuring out which positions work best for their unique bodies. A recent discussion highlighted this struggle from the perspective of a plus-size couple navigating differences in height and anatomy. She’s 4’11”, he’s 6’0”, and they’ve only managed to find one position that consistently works. Everything else feels awkward, uncomfortable, or simply doesn’t “click.”
If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone. Many couples—especially those with height differences or plus-size bodies—find themselves needing to adapt the “standard” positions to fit their reality. The good news? With some patience, creativity, and communication, there are plenty of ways to make intimacy more enjoyable.
Why Some Positions Don’t Work Straight Away
First, it’s important to understand that sex isn’t one-size-fits-all. Positions that look easy in media often don’t translate into real life because of differences in:
Height and body shape – angles don’t always line up. Flexibility and comfort – certain moves strain the knees, hips, or back. Penis size and depth – smaller size may require closer proximity or angles that maintain connection.
Rather than seeing this as failure, think of it as trial and discovery. Each attempt teaches you something about what does and doesn’t work for your bodies.
Positions That May Help
If missionary with legs on shoulders is your go-to, here are some variations and alternatives you might find useful:
Modified Doggy Style Instead of the traditional position, try having the receiving partner lay flat with a pillow under the hips (often called “pillow doggy”). This raises the angle and can make entry easier without the challenge of aligning from behind. Side-by-Side (Spooning) Lying on your sides facing the same direction can provide both intimacy and comfort. It often makes entry easier for partners with height differences and reduces strain on the knees. Reverse Cowgirl with Support If standard cowgirl doesn’t work because of knee placement, try reverse cowgirl with pillows under the knees or by sitting on a sturdy surface like a couch or chair instead of a bed. This stabilizes movement and reduces slipping. Seated Positions Have the taller partner sit on the edge of the bed or a firm chair while the shorter partner straddles. This eliminates the struggle with bed height and allows more control. Using Props Don’t underestimate pillows or wedges. A firm pillow under the hips or back can change the angle enough to make a previously uncomfortable position pleasurable.
Communication Is Key
Experimenting only works when both partners are patient and supportive. If something feels awkward, laugh it off rather than getting discouraged. The process of figuring out what works for your bodies can actually strengthen intimacy.
Final Thoughts
Every couple’s journey to finding “their” positions is unique. Being plus size, having a height difference, or navigating size concerns doesn’t mean your sex life has to be limited. It just means you’ll benefit from creativity, adaptation, and open communication.
What matters most isn’t mastering every position in the book—it’s finding the ones that make you both feel connected, comfortable, and satisfied.